I sometimes debate about how much to put out there on this blog... I've kept things more on "surface" level, not letting y'all in too much into my mind. However, I thought of a good blog post to share that crosses that line a bit, so pull up a seat and get cozy...
If you know me, it probably won't come as any surprise I lean more towards the introvert spectrum... I find having to be in social situations and constantly "on" is tiring to me, and I can't wait to have my down time reading a book, watching TV/YouTube, listening to music, a long car ride, or walk, or just quietly doing cooking and cleaning ... I know I sound like I'm funner than a barrel of monkeys. Maybe this is why I'm more suited to be a programmer, rather than a teacher.
Now, if you know me really well, then I'm talkative and act goofy, but it takes me a while for me to show that side until I know we can click.
I couple years ago I watched a TED talk by Susan Cain called "The Power of Introverts". I felt like it really struck a cord. We live in a world that wants offices to be open, work to be done in collaboration, meeting after meeting, etc. For introverts this can be a difficult pace. We really need our space to be with our thoughts.
Well, my post though isn't going to be about the psychology of introverts, I'm going to make it a bit more entertaining for you. I've drawn some Venn diagrams describing different social situations I've been in and how, as an introvert, I see myself.
When you only feel comfortable with part of the group...
A few weeks ago I went to lunch with 4 other colleagues. But I'm really was only close to two of them. Anyway, the four of them are close and hang out outside of work, so I was definitely in this weird limbo where I was an outsider, yet, I was close to half the group. Here's how I felt, in a diagram:
When you don't know anyone...
I'm shy and don't know whether or not people want to be engaged in conversation. Maybe they're waiting for someone else to show up and I'm wasting their time. I really think this is why we've started to stare at our phones so much... to look "busy". I attended an event a couple years ago aimed at getting high school girls interested in STEM. I knew no one at the event but I DID try to make small talk... and there were of course sets of people that already knew each other so I felt like an intruder trying to join their conversation.
When you're actually, oddly enough, the person that overlaps the social circles...
Sometimes I'm within a group of people and I'm actually the "mutual" person amongst them, but they're having a hard time clicking with each other. This one makes me feel anxious.
Forced to be together...
Another tough situation is when you're forced to be in a group with each other and you're all introverts... or, you already do not get along with each other. Yikes, all of us are on our own islands counting the minutes until this is over.
It's all cool, I'm with my inner circle...
This is the ideal situation when you're in a group of people who know you well and you're comfortable with. awww.
Hope you nerds liked my Venn diagrams.
Do you identify more towards introvert or extrovert?
Do you find you've changed over the years? I've definitely opened up more in the last several years to being more talkative, but I still would rather just "observe".
I can relate - do you believe it? I very much like your Venn diagrams! I grew up being an introvert and shy, even though my parents were very social and outgoing. It wasn't until I started working at a contract job after I graduated with my Bachelors in 1976 that I made myself a goal, specifically, to be "outgoing." My work environments after that put me into situations where I was challenged to be so. I started having to interact with the people who worked for me and I decided to do so in a aggressive, but in a, hopefully, "kind," manner. I had to instruct people on procedures, do performance reviews, and review and correct their work. It was difficult. In social situations, I have felt more like you do, i.e., with my interactions with feeling like an outsider, making myself try to join a group of people who are talking with each other, for example at a party, and feeling like an outsider - do I catch what they're saying and offer my opinion, kind of blurting in, or do I wait patiently for an opening, and even so, feeling like people are looking at me saying, who the hell are you? It's quite a balancing act. I had one employee who told me that I had a good way of talking with her and realized later that I told her that she was "full of shit." Ha Ha - don't know if that was a compliment or not!!!!
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