What holding hands taught me about Leadership

Hey Nerds,

This post wasn't planned; it was inspired by a practice run I did with Matthew Saturday afternoon.

We weren't able to get out for a run until about 3:30pm, and quite frankly, I don't think either of us wanted to go.  We had been busy with some errands and house chores, but I told Matthew he needed to practice to condition his body.

We did our stretches, then started running... about 30 meters in, Matthew stops. 
I stood there, waited for him, then we started running again.  After another 30 meters, he stopped again! so I told him we at least needed to keep walking if he had to stop.  This went on until we finished our first loop of the track.

We started our second loop, and the same pattern took place.  I said. "c'mon Matthew, you can't keep stopping, you have to push yourself to get better".  In my mind I was thinking what can I do that's better than just telling him?  What if I don't give him a choice to stop (in a kind way)?'  We were about half way around the track by now.

I had an idea....

I took his hand and told him I was going to hold his hand and I wasn't stopping until we finished the loop (which was half the track).  And guess what?  It worked!  He didn't stop.

The third loop, I held his hand again during the run, and he asked me a couple times if we would stop, and I said 'soon, up at that point'.  We ran 3/4 of the track without stopping and then I let him walk.  This was working.  

He needed me to challenge him, but at the same time guide him.

He agreed to doing a fourth loop.  We set a point on the track (3/4 of the way) where we would stop and walk.  Here's the amazing thing... when we got to that point, Matthew said, "we're so close to finishing the loop, let's not stop", and so we didn't!  

We did one loop without stopping!

At this point, I was happy enough, we did four loops and did the last one without stopping, but what happened next surprised me.  Matthew said he wanted to do another loop, on his own, and he was going to run the whole thing.  I started a timer on my phone and timed his loop.  He completed the loop on his own, running the whole way, in 1 minute and 59 seconds.  I was so proud of him and made sure he knew.  He was pretty proud of himself too, judging by the grin on his face.

What did this teach me?

Matthew had to be challenged by me not giving him an option to fail.  I had to guide him how to do it though.  Eventually, he learned he could do it, and didn't need me to hold his hand.  He wanted to do it.